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DEPRESSION – The Delimma of Modren World? #mentalhealth

I was scrolling down my instagram and I saw her pictures. Dusky, a little healthy, curly hair and no filters. What a beautiful and natural woman, I thought. But the very next moment I saw the comments ( I still regret though but). So the most highlighted comment was from a woman basically who had mentioned “Look at her skin”. The next comment was “Yaar, yeh kitni motti hai”. “Use some beauty cream”, “Shakal daikhi hai apni”, “Khofnaak”.. so on and so on….. and what not?..Ahhhh

A few days passed and then her account was gone. No more pictures. Nothing at all. May be for many those comments be just something of daily basis but for her. They were more than that. Those words were to make her feel pretty about her being herself but what they did was opposite. She left instagram. She thought its not made for her. Its for the pretty ladies who have flawless skin, a perfect figure and a stylish personality. Well, its not just her story. Sadly, its becoming everyone’s story. The worst of all is that now its not just ending with account deactivation. People have begun to deactivate themselves too, not temporarily but permanently. Yes, this Cyber bullying is becoming a cause of depression that ultimately leads to suicide attempts.

Social media is one of the largest industries working in today’s world. Gathering people from around the world and putting them in connection. Basically, connecting people. But disconnecting lives. So many people upload their daily photos on different social platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Snap-chat, Whats-app, this app and that app. People have their addictions and their living standards have formulated this way that getting away is no longer possible. Meanwhile people have started relying on the comments that they receive from their followers. These comments are often accompanied by negative and disturbing remarks.Ultimately this affects the mental being of individuals too.

According to my observation there are two kinds of individuals. One category includes those who know they are public figure so they don’t exactly pay any heed to criticism may it be negative or positive. The other group refers to those who take it to their heart. Certainly, the other group is in loss. Putting life out there on media is not easy. Many vloggers and bloggers do that. But what they receive in return is not always appreciating. Thats just social media. Now lets talk about life outside it. The desi aunty culture and our society’s approach has also become extremely judgemental. Why is she so thin and why is she so fat? Why so dark? And why so short? She earns money? Independent women are not good. Oh she doesn’t earn money? She is good for nothing.

We tend to get so negative and judgemental that we ignore the impact of our such behaviour on the lives of the individuals on the receiver end. It doesn’t take so much of energy to be positive or more accepting. Just a little more acceptance and there we go. Just because a girl posts her pictures on social media and as a celebrity, doesn’t mean she is welcoming judgemental remarks. You like her, appreciate her. You don’t like her, move ahead. Its not important to stop and criticize without knowing what she might be going through. We need to learn that its not Okay to describe repeatedly and publically your dislike about someone’s face, figure, occupation. Someone is not putting his or her life out to be judged so badly. Only if we understand this basic rule of “Live and let live”, we can save alot more Anam Tanoli’s out there.

“Suicide isnt cowardly. I’l tell you what is cowardly; treating people so bad that they want to end their lives” – Ashley Purdy

Unfortunately our society is also becoming a victim to mental depression. Suicide is a highly taboo and stigmatized topic. Depression has become so common and frustrating part of our society that it is taking lives on daily basis. Depression is the root cause of the events that lead an individual towards suicidal tendencies and ideas. September, is considered as a suicide prevention month in the world. In developed countries this month is observed as a time period to spread awareness about suicide and matters that may influence an individual to take away his life. Individuals affected by suicide are reached out, awareness campaigns are carried and individuals are connected to treatment services.

HOW TO WATCH OUT FOR SUCH PEOPLE, AND HOW TO SAVE THEM?

Look around. Yes look around. You might need to look deeply into the lives of your close ones. Someone might be going through trials and struggling in their life. Daily life issues are never really a reason for getting into depression. There can be other reasons, like constant failure, breakup in relationships, loss of a beloved person, family problems etc. Observe and then ask. Communicate with them. Try to get in to the matter. Tell them to focus on the things they have. It wont be easy but gradually it might help.

We are all urging to get a new Pakistan. What we must understand is that our behavior is going to be the determinant whether we make a new socially viable environment for a mentally and emotionally stable Pakistan, or not. Its high time that we realize how our behaviors can affect the lives of others and how can they easily make or break someone.

To my brothers and sisters across the world.. #Burma #Maynamar #Syria

Oh cheerful winds of Peace,

Where did ur smile go? 

Vanished in the valley where bombs blow?

I live away and far away from you,

But i hear the news of your woe,

I m happy in my life at my home

Since your homicide doesn’t affect my flow,

I, as a bystander witness the atrocities,

Observe the burning and smoldering cities,

Why doesn’t the flame keep me from sleeping?

And why doesn’t Insomnia dwell in with curiosities? 

Silent is the sinful soul of mine,

Fearless from wrath of the divine,

Ears deaf, eyes blind, lips sealed,

Vanished Humanity with no sign,

In Burma you were burnt, 
In Syria you were drowned,

In Pakistan you were bombed,

In Palestine you were buried,

In Kashmir you were fired,

Ah my people u’being destroyed and destroyed..

Forgive me that I’m ignorant,

Forgotten that the fire in the neighbor would burn me too,,

For that day we must be prepared to hear from you,,

“I heard the news, the nation being burnt is Who?

 – 
This poem is particularly dedicated to the suffering nations across the World. I know may be this written piece won’t bring any betterment to any of them. But thats my part which was vital to be played.  Jihad bil Kalam. May Allah swt bestow His mercy on all of us. 

With deepest love and saddest voice! 

“You’re not beautiful because you don’t use beauty filters”

In the morning  I woke up like every other young lad of my generation using one of the most highly addictive social platforms, Instagram. Scrolling down, hitting like button, sometimes stalking and sometimes just uninterestedly going along and there I ended up seeing something that frustrated me to the level that I got out of the bed and the next thing I did was to open my blog and pour down the frustration on it through my words. Before we proceed let me apologize because down below I am going to be very much brutally honest and I wont be sorry for it.

To start with, I need to mention the reason which influenced me to write. I was going through one of the official accounts of a tv actress (not mentioning the name due to respect). Apparently she appeared bit darker in complexion and bulky in physique. She had her personal life photos on her account. Just as casually as we all upload our stuff. but then I noticed something that frustrated me furiously. The particular lady had some of her pictures uploaded without any “beautifying effects”. Just her natural look showing her simplicity. It caught my attention so much that I opened the comment box to appreciate her simplicity but what I saw, shocked me instead. Comments like “Khofnaak“, “Draa kyun rahi ho?”, “Motti“, “Apnay mottapay ka raaz tou btaao” “Skin check kro” etc etc etc.

After reading those comments I was still calm because I was considering the fact that as any woman she is required to have a fairer skin and a slimmer body to get appreciative comments from men. But what made my head spin was that ALL those comments came from WOMEN. Yeah feel it. A woman bullying another woman for her skin color? Her physique? Her skin texture? then why to blame men?

I have seen women criticizing men for being so judgmental about their appearances and their looks. But what would you comment on women doing the same stuff? Ain’t it more insulting? This is the reason why girls go to every extreme to bring fairness to their skin. Eat less than their basic health needs to look slimmer. This is the real murder to the confidence of every single girl out there who wants to be as socially active as all the women with lighter skin are.

My dear ladies! If you continue to do this on public platforms and then act Mazloom when you are judged by men then I am sorry. You are your own culprit. Killing the confidence of someone who is just being realistic and not adding so many filters to hide their apparent flaws;  is a brutality. At least she didn’t act fake and I believe that in this deceptive world being honest and confident is the only thing that is authentically beautiful. I know my blog wont make any significant impact on anyone’s mentality but the least it can do is to just add a bit more noise to kill the silence of the lot against bullying. Spread Love not judgments.

I have attached a picture of few of the comments and hid the names of the girls commenting because i am still left with alot of gender respect even if they don’t have. 

Suno Baba! 

                                                                     !سنو بابا 

فرصت کے لمحے جب آئیں تم کو میسر۔۔

!ملنا پھر اپنی لاڈلی کو خوابوں میں تم اکثر

 ،کرنا پھر باتیں، ہر پل کی ہر لمحے کی

!نہ چھیڑیں گے کوئ بات کسی دکھ کی کسی سانحے کی

دہرائیں گے ہر اس یاد کو ساتھ میں ہم

!جب ساتھ تھے اور ساتھ تھے بس ساتھ تھے ہم

وہ دن بیت گئے بابا ،جب شام ڈھلے

تم لوٹ کر آتے تھے بہت تھکےتھکے۔۔

میں تو دستک کی آواز سے پہچان جاتی تھی۔۔

قدموں کی چاپ کے قربان جاتی تھی۔۔

اب نہ دستک ہوتی ہے نہ کوئ آہٹ آتی ہے۔۔

لوٹ آتی ہوں ہر شام یہ سوچ کے تھک کر۔۔

کے ملنے کو آوگے اب تم خوابوں میں اکثر۔۔

                                                    !!!سنو بابا 

 آنکھیں ہیں کے جانے، “ترسی” ہوئ ہیں یا “تر “سی ہوئ ہیں

بہتی ہیں ایسے کے کبھی نہر سی ہوئ ہیں تو کبھی بہر سی ہوئ ہیں

تکلیف کی شدت ہے کے کم ہی نہیں ہوتی۔۔

گزرتی ہوئ گھڑیاں تو قہر سی ہوئ ہیں۔۔

دن بیتے سال بیتے ،  یا بیتے عمر۔۔

جوانی گزرے، بھڑاپا آئے یا وقت قبر۔۔

بھولنا نہ کبھی تم یہ پیما نے پدر۔۔

ملنا پھر اپنی لاڈلی کو خوابوں میں تم اکثر۔۔

19th April 2016 marks 4 years of our separation. The bond of love we share however, continues to strengthens with time. Hope you lay asleep with angels around. Sending my love and prayers your way with a special prayer that may no daughter goes through what your daughters do. Ameen. 

Dated : 19th April’2017. 

To my dear departed.. 

I woke up early today or to rephrase it the way other round i would say that despite of another sleepless spell of night i woke up comparatively earlier today. Dressed up and just left for hospital. Yeah hospital. Calender showing 10th. April. Your Birthday and my first internship day at Neurology Department. Irony of life, May be? The only person who would burn all his boats to see me sail, who would not feel shame to own my failure and label it as a beginner’s try. The one who have had been ready to go to any extent of sacrifice just to see me wearing this white coat and holding this stethoscope. Whenever i would say ” i am losing hope. I am weak. I am may be not as charming as the other girls around. I am flawed. I am a trouble-maker”.. he by the virtue of his gentle expressions and everlasting smile would convince me to the point that every negative would sound positive, every weakness just my strength and every failure like my sucess. With every step that i took towards and inside the hospital. I had him within me. In the elevator i saw him standing next to me and telling me not to suffocate. On the walls i saw his picture smiling and saying that “yes, you made it”. Just next to the neuro surgeon was him standing and listening to every question that i raised during the lecture. I felt him taking the pride. In my observations, in my writings, in my every gesture He was around. He stayed there till i stayed there. I saw him living every moment of it side by side with me. He is my dear departed. He is the reason to my survival. My most valued asset, my beloved Father. Its his fourth birthday that we are not celeberating together. Four years have passed and Allah knows how. I wanted to start blogging but nothing gave me a kick start more than this emotional trauma. I hope somewhere he is reading this. If its right then i would never stop writing. Even if my hands ache and even if i get short of vocabulary i would write and speak my heart out to him. The person behine me being me. Life gets unfair and sometimes steals away our most precious belongings. But they just dont leave. They stay. They live with us. In our daily routines. They are just there. So is He. Dedicating my first ever writing on a social platform to the most valued asset of my life. I miss you Abu jee. I am doing it the way you wanted it. With this hope that you’re watching me. I am not losing hope. I am brave. I know this too shall pass. But you not being around makes everything incomplete. I miss beyond eternity. 

With love

Yours child ♡