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This too shall pass

If you are stressing over anything. Spare a few minutes and read this. And let me know if it worked out 🙂

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Here is to the people reading this and suffering from some pain that they think, might not go away too soon. I am not a motivational speaker or a magician who would do some magic and take away the suffering from you. But i have a few words to share and i believe for the ones who are in shadows, even a ray of hope can be really helping. So here we go.

What are you upto these days?
Ummm Overthinking? Worrying? Crying? Imagining situations and then thinking NO NO it cant happen to me? And think oh, why would it happen to me? If its the case then probably you are at some right platform. Because i am going to talk about all those little matters that apparently sound very little to the by-standers but for the concerned parties, are pretty big.

Lets begin with this..
Its midnight, you are laying on your bed. Tossing your phone, changing sides on your bed, waiting for someone to give you a reply or thinking why did a friend talk this way to you? or thinking where am I standing in my career/education? Concerned about your parents getting old. You might also be thinking of the possible financial situation that you expect for yourself. All is running in your mind. Clock is tick-toking. Seconds, Minutes and oh wait hours have passed but nothing has changed. Really? You expect it to happen overnight? You end up having headache. You have to get up early tomorrow and yet you are not asleep.

That’s all that happens everyday and your situation isn’t changing. Your worry is not fading.

Now listen and follow the instructions..

Breath. Breath in, Breath out.Okay. Put your head at rest, either at the back of your chair or your bed. Carefully analyze. What exactly is the reason? No its not like everything is messed up. Start from yourself. Your health, your education, your career, your relationships, everything. Figure it out. Suppose the problem is with you. Suppose you are not well. Okay. Your health is not fine. Accept this. Acceptance is the first step towards the cure. Its hard. Its hard to accept. But had life give you a choice, would you be in the same hot water? Of course No. So tell yourself. You don’t have an option but to accept the situation you are in. I know its painful. I know your neighbor is not suffering from it. I know your that weird classmate who bullied you last week, he is doing fine. Your ex is getting along really well with his/her new relationship. But you, you are in this situation. You are facing a problem. May it be any of those that i mentioned above (could be other than these too).

Okay so problem has been figured out. In your mind you know, what’s it. Alright. At least step 1 is clear. At least you know whats it. At least you have told your mind what’s the issue. Now lets move to towards step two. Its to do it yourself. Yeah. Its not the first time that you are at loss in life. Might be first time too if you are a teenager. But if you are in 20s i bet its not the first time. Remember the day when you thought its the worst day? But somehow you managed to overcome it. Any of you if you ever lost any of your beloved relationship. May be you can co-relate to this. Remember when you lost the person. Didn’t it stab in your heart? You thought you won’t survive but you did. So you think its going to be any harder than that? Suppose it is. Then at least you have survival immunity. and if you have thought and found that its not that hard then my dear its already sorted. You are doing great and you are definitely coming out of this soon.

But, if you think no its the hardest thing ever to hit you. Then lets do something else. Lets boost our morals by the stories of people who have gone through worst and never really gave up. Back in 2005 when i lost my cousin in a car accident. Before breaking the news to us, my father mentioned all the people who lost their families in earthquake of 8th October. Just so that we get mentally prepared to what was coming next… and yeah we did get ready to hear that we too have lost someone. I wont say the news didn’t hit me hard but trust me if it was told me otherwise, i would have thought that i am the only one in this world to have bore this loss. It would have been much worse then. Anyways my point is, tell yourself that its not just you. There is a world out there. and how about i tell you that there a billion of people in this world who don’t even enjoy the 85% of basic needs that you do. Be thankful. Yeah. Say ALHAMDULILAH, say a prayer. Thank GOD. At least you are well enough to be reading a blog at this moment. You have access to internet (Oh wow) and probably you holding a phone and a laptop too. AND YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT BLESSED?

Okay Step 3.

Ask a friend. Your childhood best buddy? Your mother? Your father? Your sister? Where is your brother? And what about your husband? Your wife? Oh you are single. Okay no problem. Your guy friends? or your girl gang? Great. Go to anyone of them. They are always there. Pick up your phone. Call. Call them. Talk to them. Oh come on. They wont judge you. Share it. Speak your heart. Ask for help. They love you. They’l help you. Okay great. Feeling better? Awesome. At least something has worked out.

If you still dint feel better then continue to step 4.

No. No one? Oh. Someone didn’t pick your phone? Hmmmmm you cant tell this to your parents. Your siblings are busy. And ohh, you don’t trust your friends. I see,you are single. so what to do now? SO you are alone. Ummm there is no one. Really? you think?

What about the one who created you? The one who loves you more than 70 mothers? You think is far? He is nearer to you than your Jugular vein. How could you forget Him? You thought you would forget HIM and you will manage your tasks?

No my dear. He is there. He is watching over you. He has put you in this situation because He knows you can go through it and then grow through it and finally glow through it. Yes. His help is near. He has promised it. He will never abandon you. Ask him. He will never judge you. He is happy when you talk to him. You talk to him and He will talk back to you. Read His book. Prostrate. Bow down. Imagine He is in front of you. Cry, Share and Repent. He listens, He forgives.

You might not get the solution but you will get in peace with your situation. You will know that you are capable of bearing it. He says in Quran:

“We burden not anyone but that he can bear”

You have given off your worries to him. Now sleep peacefully. Let his angels do the task. You keep your faith. Stay positive.

May He heals all whats broken and what you hide inside.
Ameen.

Kindness, World Needs It The Most!

Kindness is virtue. If you can be anything in this world, choose to be kind.

timg (1)I was watching videos on YouTube. And I recalled this childhood song that I had listened back in my school days during all those co-curricular activities. I looked for it on YouTube, entered the name and there you go.. a soft music, a polite expression. There you go.. a few words in the beginning and the song plays..

HEAL THE WORLD,

MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE

FOR YOU AND FOR ME AND THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE,

THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING,

IF YOU CARE ENOUGH FOR THE LIVING, MAKE A BETTER PLACE..

HEAL THE WORLD AND MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE,

FOR YOU AND FOR ME AND THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE!

Oh, such a magic. Michael Jackson, King of Pop, had spread in my ears. So I started focusing on words. It started playing in my mind. “heal the world”, what an amazing expression. I stressed deeper on the meaning of this line. Heal the world. This world which is gradually becoming a horrible place to survive because of us, the humans. Ignoring the damage that humans are doing to ecological status of the world, right now I am just talking about the moral corruption that we have now been indulged in. And suddenly it just broke my heart.

My purpose of writing this is not to prove that I am the nicest person you will meet on the face of earth. Definitely NOT. I might be doing more bad in life than my readers might have ever done. I am just emphasizing on the current need of healing that this world is in. I thought harder on this point of healing and then finally figured that in my perspective best way of healing is to show kindness. I believe the cheapest and yet priceless thing that you can offer anyone is kindness. It’s a universal language that is free of race, caste, color, Religion and nationality.

Kindness is a gesture that promotes love and affection to an unimaginable level. Practicing kindness is the easiest thing to do. Lets highlight a few things that we can do and help someone have a good day. So lets begin.

  • SMILE OFTEN : Smiling often is a part of Sunnah. It also makes you look positive and full of energy. So tell me, how many bucks do you need to spend to put a smile on your face? Smiling faces are the prettiest. It’s the most beautiful jewelry to wear. So why not begin your day with a wide and a beautiful smile? Its not just a good thing for others but for yourself as well. Think this way, your smiling face looks pretty. So you have to smile more often from now if you really want to rock it up with your looks. ( This beauty hack doesn’t need any beauty product or face mask). Now comes the second part, spreading smiles.

Talking about my own self I really get this feeling of goodness when I see someone passing me a gentle smile. May it be anyone. If in the morning my neighbor aunt gives me a wide smile, for no reason this would add a little positivity in me. I might even feel it quite good at heart. So yeah smile. Greet people with more energy. Make them feel convinced of your positivity that they might even begin to like your company. Your energy level shouldn’t be compromised by any of their physical appearances. Show them that your smile has a power to build castles from ashes.

  • Say Positive things :

Positivity is the key to maintain high quality of life. Sometimes people run to us with their worries, happiness, news and a lot more subjects. Now how we react to them, is something that might not bear a lot importance to us, but definitely is something of high value for them. Yeah, that’s why they considered it worth sharing. Why would you behave so casual to them? For example : someone comes to you and says “Heyyy,, I won a scholarship” and you respond : “Oh really? Cool, Congrats” and you would see how low they’ll get in energy. They might not show you that but you’ll see them dropping. At least a sensitive person like me would definitely not feel so good over your extremely casual reaction. I know that It doesn’t matter quite much to you. But man, saying something really nice doesn’t cost you even a penny. So rephrase it. Say it this way. “oh wow, you won a scholarship? I am so proud of you. You totally deserved it”.

Easy or Difficult?

Words make and break hearts. Be careful on the selection of your vocabulary. Be a little more gentle, add some sugar and you’ll get a perfect recipe for making someone’s day good.

I sometimes don’t understand the logic of people saying “oh I say rough things. I act casual but I am a good person at heart”. WAIT. Who has got enough time to sneak peak in your heart to know whether it offers goodness or not? People only hear what you say. And if you cant say something nice in face. How on earth do you expect them to dissect your heart and know your intention?

Be Polite. People go through thunders in their lives. If you cant do much for them, don’t ruin their day with your negativity. That’s the least you can do.

  • Be kind :

After writing nearly a thousand words I finally reached to my main point and its ‘kindness’.. I read it somewhere :

If you can be anything in this world. Choose to be kind.

Be kind. It doesn’t take a lot of your energy. It will definitely help someone have a good day. The beggar who knocked at your door early in the morning and you scolded him for disturbing your sleep. Might have his kids hungry at home. That street vendor you had an argument with, is the sole bread earner of his family. Your maid, the security guard outside your office, the plumber who fixes your washroom taps and etc etc. list is long and there are so many people we interact with in our daily life. They are struggling. They are having good or bad days and you are not just the only one to suffer anything bad any life. Anyone can be going through anything. So your little act of kindness. Your little gentle behavior might just make them feel a little good. So can you give It a try?

Lastly I would just like to pay to tribute to all of those unnoticed people in this world who are kind to others and probably are a reason for the goodness that is left in this world. They are the true healers. I am sure you too are one of them. I am also striving hard to get my name in this list. This actually made me recall the poem Abou ben Adhem so I would like to share it since its one of my favorite poems from my school days.

ABOU BEN ADHEM (may his tribe increase!)

Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,

And saw—within the moonlight in his room,

Making it rich and like a lily in bloom—

An angel, writing in a book of gold.

Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,

And to the presence in the room he said,

‘What writest thou?’—The vision raised its head,

And, with a look made of all sweet accord,

Answered, ‘The names of those who love the Lord.’

‘And is mine one?’ said Abou. ‘Nay, not so,’Replied the angel.

Abou spoke more low,But cheerly still,

and said, ‘I pray thee, then,

Write me as one that loves his fellow men.’  

 The angel wrote and vanished. The next night 

It came again with a great wakening light

And showed the names whom love of God had blessed,

And lo! Ben Adhem’s name led all the rest. 

James Henry Leigh Hunt explained it all so beautifully that I couldn’t really sum up in thousand words. There are so many people who Love the Creator but the creator Himself says that love your fellow beings as well so that I love you more. Remember that He might forgive you what wrong you do to Him. But He will never forgive you for the things you did wrong to his creation until they don’t forgive you themselves.

13th November is observed as World’s kindness day. I am amazed how can we give just one day to kindness and at the same time I am amazed at the point that cant we even give one day to kindness?

Happy Birthday Sir!

Khudi ko kar buland itna k hr takdeer se pehlay…
Khuda bnday se khud puchay, bta teri raza kya hai?

Today marks as Allama Muhammad Iqbal’s 141st birthday. Iqbal was a philosopher, a poet, a politician, a scholar, a barrister and most importantly a LEADER. His concept of “KHUDI” led to a clear definition of his thoughts about the way of life a young Muslim should lead. His famous writings included Baal e Jibreel and Baang e Draa.. Iqbal mentioned the worth of young Muslims at every step of a nation building. His ideas were followed throughout the subcontinent and in the light of those bright ideas, Muslims of subcontinent achieved what we today call as PAKISTAN.

Allama Iqbal was a great protagonist of Muslim unity throughout the world. He considered Muslim Ummah as one power. To him, geographical boundaries between the Muslim countries didn’t matter as they did to the world. In one of his famous writings he describes his feelings as

Aik hun Muslim Haram ki paasbani k lye..
Neel k sahil se le kr, ta ba khaak-e-Kashghar

Iqbal’s philosophy about life didn’t just inspire the Muslims but stayed as a motivation and source of inspiration for people throughout the world. Even today, Iqbal is just not considered a personality but a subject. Iqbaliat is studied on university level in Pakistan and there are billions of research thesis papers written on his ideas and poetry. Allama Muhammad Iqbal is considered as a “Shayer e Mashriq”, the “Poet of East”. He was a modern and educated Muslim yet his beliefs clearly stated that he was against the modernism that leads the way to westernization of Muslims. He believed that eastern values had more strength and depth in relevance to Western lifestyle. He considered eastern culture and society as an identification mark for Muslims of South Asia.

Suraj hmein hr sham yeh dars deta hai..
Maghrib ki traf jaogay tou doob jao gay..

Chor Europe k lye raks e bdan k khum o paich
Rooh k raks mein h booay-e-ilaahi

Leave the movement of body dance for Europe
In the dance of soul, there is a fragrance of Allah

Allama Iqbal closely observed the state of plight of Muslims of south Asia and the world. He believed that non Islamic practices led Muslims to the state of affairs where they gradually lost the respect that they had gained during their Golden Era of rule and success.

Gnwa di hm ne jo islaaf se miraas pai th..

Suraya se zameen pr asmaan ne hm k de maara!

Iqbal’s poetry was constituted not only in Urdu but in various other languages as well, out of which Persian stands highlighted. Later his work was translated in several other languages as well including English. His work never died never faded and never lost its influence. Even today his poetry is used as a tool of great inspiration for young generation. He called them “Shaheen” and wrote poems and poems of motivation and inspiration. He explained why is it important for today’s generation to know their worth and to know what great magic they posses inside. He had very high hopes regarding the heights of success that young generation could achieve only if they realized the strength of their arms. There are so many points of betterment that he deeply emphasized on and considered that those points are so valid that if they are worked on, young generation can do marvels.

Nahi tera nasheman, kasr e sultani k gunbad pr..
Tu shaheen hai, basera kr, paharrun ki chitanu mein..

Iqbal, the dreamer of a purified land where humans will be treated in a dignified manner. The land to be owned by the young generation, His Shaheens. The land where humans will know their worth. The land where the humans would enjoy their rights equally. But unfortunately today we have turned out to be everything against Iqbal’s ideas. If judged on the basis of moral values we have ended into a blind tunnel of fake images where we stand shallow in our characters and highlighted in our fakeness. How beautifully Iqbal summed this up :

Dil paak nahi tou paak ho sakta nai insaan
Wrna iblees ko b aatay thay wazu k faraiz boht..

Iqbal not only aspired for an independent country but also inspired young Muslims to bring best out of them. He stated his hopes as :

Nahi hai na umeed Iqbal apni kasht e veeraa’n se
Zra num ho tou yeh matti boht zrkhaiz hai saaki

Iqbal died long before the independence of Pakistan but his teachings still stand as a high flag waving for the betterment of Muslim Ummah. He didn’t just address one or two aspects of life, but wholeheartedly described every angle of it. His teachings are a way of motivation and guidance to all of us. If we really look into the state of affairs we are currently in, we might be ashamed to meet in eyes with Iqbal. His dreams didn’t want to end the way we are pursuing them today. Its very easy to deliver long lectures on how important Iqbal’s teaching are to us. But to really go out and put the practical value of the teachings in count, I think we would fail. It gives me a lot of pain to say :
Iqbal, teri koam ka Iqbal kho gya..

Its 2018 today and 2019 is just on the corner but where are we? Shadowed by the hatred, false judgment, lack of true faith, pulling legs of the fellow beings, envy, corruption and what not? Its high time that we realize our powers and abilities. Lets vow today that we will become Iqbal’s shaheen and we will prove that we do owe ‘uqaabi rooh’ to meet the challenges that we are facing today. May his soul rest in deep peace. Ameen.

DEPRESSION – The Delimma of Modren World? #mentalhealth

I was scrolling down my instagram and I saw her pictures. Dusky, a little healthy, curly hair and no filters. What a beautiful and natural woman, I thought. But the very next moment I saw the comments ( I still regret though but). So the most highlighted comment was from a woman basically who had mentioned “Look at her skin”. The next comment was “Yaar, yeh kitni motti hai”. “Use some beauty cream”, “Shakal daikhi hai apni”, “Khofnaak”.. so on and so on….. and what not?..Ahhhh

A few days passed and then her account was gone. No more pictures. Nothing at all. May be for many those comments be just something of daily basis but for her. They were more than that. Those words were to make her feel pretty about her being herself but what they did was opposite. She left instagram. She thought its not made for her. Its for the pretty ladies who have flawless skin, a perfect figure and a stylish personality. Well, its not just her story. Sadly, its becoming everyone’s story. The worst of all is that now its not just ending with account deactivation. People have begun to deactivate themselves too, not temporarily but permanently. Yes, this Cyber bullying is becoming a cause of depression that ultimately leads to suicide attempts.

Social media is one of the largest industries working in today’s world. Gathering people from around the world and putting them in connection. Basically, connecting people. But disconnecting lives. So many people upload their daily photos on different social platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Snap-chat, Whats-app, this app and that app. People have their addictions and their living standards have formulated this way that getting away is no longer possible. Meanwhile people have started relying on the comments that they receive from their followers. These comments are often accompanied by negative and disturbing remarks.Ultimately this affects the mental being of individuals too.

According to my observation there are two kinds of individuals. One category includes those who know they are public figure so they don’t exactly pay any heed to criticism may it be negative or positive. The other group refers to those who take it to their heart. Certainly, the other group is in loss. Putting life out there on media is not easy. Many vloggers and bloggers do that. But what they receive in return is not always appreciating. Thats just social media. Now lets talk about life outside it. The desi aunty culture and our society’s approach has also become extremely judgemental. Why is she so thin and why is she so fat? Why so dark? And why so short? She earns money? Independent women are not good. Oh she doesn’t earn money? She is good for nothing.

We tend to get so negative and judgemental that we ignore the impact of our such behaviour on the lives of the individuals on the receiver end. It doesn’t take so much of energy to be positive or more accepting. Just a little more acceptance and there we go. Just because a girl posts her pictures on social media and as a celebrity, doesn’t mean she is welcoming judgemental remarks. You like her, appreciate her. You don’t like her, move ahead. Its not important to stop and criticize without knowing what she might be going through. We need to learn that its not Okay to describe repeatedly and publically your dislike about someone’s face, figure, occupation. Someone is not putting his or her life out to be judged so badly. Only if we understand this basic rule of “Live and let live”, we can save alot more Anam Tanoli’s out there.

“Suicide isnt cowardly. I’l tell you what is cowardly; treating people so bad that they want to end their lives” – Ashley Purdy

Unfortunately our society is also becoming a victim to mental depression. Suicide is a highly taboo and stigmatized topic. Depression has become so common and frustrating part of our society that it is taking lives on daily basis. Depression is the root cause of the events that lead an individual towards suicidal tendencies and ideas. September, is considered as a suicide prevention month in the world. In developed countries this month is observed as a time period to spread awareness about suicide and matters that may influence an individual to take away his life. Individuals affected by suicide are reached out, awareness campaigns are carried and individuals are connected to treatment services.

HOW TO WATCH OUT FOR SUCH PEOPLE, AND HOW TO SAVE THEM?

Look around. Yes look around. You might need to look deeply into the lives of your close ones. Someone might be going through trials and struggling in their life. Daily life issues are never really a reason for getting into depression. There can be other reasons, like constant failure, breakup in relationships, loss of a beloved person, family problems etc. Observe and then ask. Communicate with them. Try to get in to the matter. Tell them to focus on the things they have. It wont be easy but gradually it might help.

We are all urging to get a new Pakistan. What we must understand is that our behavior is going to be the determinant whether we make a new socially viable environment for a mentally and emotionally stable Pakistan, or not. Its high time that we realize how our behaviors can affect the lives of others and how can they easily make or break someone.

To my brothers and sisters across the world.. #Burma #Maynamar #Syria

Oh cheerful winds of Peace,

Where did ur smile go? 

Vanished in the valley where bombs blow?

I live away and far away from you,

But i hear the news of your woe,

I m happy in my life at my home

Since your homicide doesn’t affect my flow,

I, as a bystander witness the atrocities,

Observe the burning and smoldering cities,

Why doesn’t the flame keep me from sleeping?

And why doesn’t Insomnia dwell in with curiosities? 

Silent is the sinful soul of mine,

Fearless from wrath of the divine,

Ears deaf, eyes blind, lips sealed,

Vanished Humanity with no sign,

In Burma you were burnt, 
In Syria you were drowned,

In Pakistan you were bombed,

In Palestine you were buried,

In Kashmir you were fired,

Ah my people u’being destroyed and destroyed..

Forgive me that I’m ignorant,

Forgotten that the fire in the neighbor would burn me too,,

For that day we must be prepared to hear from you,,

“I heard the news, the nation being burnt is Who?

 – 
This poem is particularly dedicated to the suffering nations across the World. I know may be this written piece won’t bring any betterment to any of them. But thats my part which was vital to be played.  Jihad bil Kalam. May Allah swt bestow His mercy on all of us. 

With deepest love and saddest voice! 

“You’re not beautiful because you don’t use beauty filters”

In the morning  I woke up like every other young lad of my generation using one of the most highly addictive social platforms, Instagram. Scrolling down, hitting like button, sometimes stalking and sometimes just uninterestedly going along and there I ended up seeing something that frustrated me to the level that I got out of the bed and the next thing I did was to open my blog and pour down the frustration on it through my words. Before we proceed let me apologize because down below I am going to be very much brutally honest and I wont be sorry for it.

To start with, I need to mention the reason which influenced me to write. I was going through one of the official accounts of a tv actress (not mentioning the name due to respect). Apparently she appeared bit darker in complexion and bulky in physique. She had her personal life photos on her account. Just as casually as we all upload our stuff. but then I noticed something that frustrated me furiously. The particular lady had some of her pictures uploaded without any “beautifying effects”. Just her natural look showing her simplicity. It caught my attention so much that I opened the comment box to appreciate her simplicity but what I saw, shocked me instead. Comments like “Khofnaak“, “Draa kyun rahi ho?”, “Motti“, “Apnay mottapay ka raaz tou btaao” “Skin check kro” etc etc etc.

After reading those comments I was still calm because I was considering the fact that as any woman she is required to have a fairer skin and a slimmer body to get appreciative comments from men. But what made my head spin was that ALL those comments came from WOMEN. Yeah feel it. A woman bullying another woman for her skin color? Her physique? Her skin texture? then why to blame men?

I have seen women criticizing men for being so judgmental about their appearances and their looks. But what would you comment on women doing the same stuff? Ain’t it more insulting? This is the reason why girls go to every extreme to bring fairness to their skin. Eat less than their basic health needs to look slimmer. This is the real murder to the confidence of every single girl out there who wants to be as socially active as all the women with lighter skin are.

My dear ladies! If you continue to do this on public platforms and then act Mazloom when you are judged by men then I am sorry. You are your own culprit. Killing the confidence of someone who is just being realistic and not adding so many filters to hide their apparent flaws;  is a brutality. At least she didn’t act fake and I believe that in this deceptive world being honest and confident is the only thing that is authentically beautiful. I know my blog wont make any significant impact on anyone’s mentality but the least it can do is to just add a bit more noise to kill the silence of the lot against bullying. Spread Love not judgments.

I have attached a picture of few of the comments and hid the names of the girls commenting because i am still left with alot of gender respect even if they don’t have.