I woke up early today or to rephrase it the way other round i would say that despite of another sleepless spell of night i woke up comparatively earlier today. Dressed up and just left for hospital. Yeah hospital. Calender showing 10th. April. Your Birthday and my first internship day at Neurology Department. Irony of life, May be? The only person who would burn all his boats to see me sail, who would not feel shame to own my failure and label it as a beginner’s try. The one who have had been ready to go to any extent of sacrifice just to see me wearing this white coat and holding this stethoscope. Whenever i would say ” i am losing hope. I am weak. I am may be not as charming as the other girls around. I am flawed. I am a trouble-maker”.. he by the virtue of his gentle expressions and everlasting smile would convince me to the point that every negative would sound positive, every weakness just my strength and every failure like my sucess. With every step that i took towards and inside the hospital. I had him within me. In the elevator i saw him standing next to me and telling me not to suffocate. On the walls i saw his picture smiling and saying that “yes, you made it”. Just next to the neuro surgeon was him standing and listening to every question that i raised during the lecture. I felt him taking the pride. In my observations, in my writings, in my every gesture He was around. He stayed there till i stayed there. I saw him living every moment of it side by side with me. He is my dear departed. He is the reason to my survival. My most valued asset, my beloved Father. Its his fourth birthday that we are not celeberating together. Four years have passed and Allah knows how. I wanted to start blogging but nothing gave me a kick start more than this emotional trauma. I hope somewhere he is reading this. If its right then i would never stop writing. Even if my hands ache and even if i get short of vocabulary i would write and speak my heart out to him. The person behine me being me. Life gets unfair and sometimes steals away our most precious belongings. But they just dont leave. They stay. They live with us. In our daily routines. They are just there. So is He. Dedicating my first ever writing on a social platform to the most valued asset of my life. I miss you Abu jee. I am doing it the way you wanted it. With this hope that you’re watching me. I am not losing hope. I am brave. I know this too shall pass. But you not being around makes everything incomplete. I miss beyond eternity.
Yours child ♡