I was scrolling down my instagram and I saw her pictures. Dusky, a little healthy, curly hair and no filters. What a beautiful and natural woman, I thought. But the very next moment I saw the comments ( I still regret though but). So the most highlighted comment was from a woman basically who had mentioned “Look at her skin”. The next comment was “Yaar, yeh kitni motti hai”. “Use some beauty cream”, “Shakal daikhi hai apni”, “Khofnaak”.. so on and so on….. and what not?..Ahhhh
A few days passed and then her account was gone. No more pictures. Nothing at all. May be for many those comments be just something of daily basis but for her. They were more than that. Those words were to make her feel pretty about her being herself but what they did was opposite. She left instagram. She thought its not made for her. Its for the pretty ladies who have flawless skin, a perfect figure and a stylish personality. Well, its not just her story. Sadly, its becoming everyone’s story. The worst of all is that now its not just ending with account deactivation. People have begun to deactivate themselves too, not temporarily but permanently. Yes, this Cyber bullying is becoming a cause of depression that ultimately leads to suicide attempts.
Social media is one of the largest industries working in today’s world. Gathering people from around the world and putting them in connection. Basically, connecting people. But disconnecting lives. So many people upload their daily photos on different social platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Snap-chat, Whats-app, this app and that app. People have their addictions and their living standards have formulated this way that getting away is no longer possible. Meanwhile people have started relying on the comments that they receive from their followers. These comments are often accompanied by negative and disturbing remarks.Ultimately this affects the mental being of individuals too.
According to my observation there are two kinds of individuals. One category includes those who know they are public figure so they don’t exactly pay any heed to criticism may it be negative or positive. The other group refers to those who take it to their heart. Certainly, the other group is in loss. Putting life out there on media is not easy. Many vloggers and bloggers do that. But what they receive in return is not always appreciating. Thats just social media. Now lets talk about life outside it. The desi aunty culture and our society’s approach has also become extremely judgemental. Why is she so thin and why is she so fat? Why so dark? And why so short? She earns money? Independent women are not good. Oh she doesn’t earn money? She is good for nothing.
We tend to get so negative and judgemental that we ignore the impact of our such behaviour on the lives of the individuals on the receiver end. It doesn’t take so much of energy to be positive or more accepting. Just a little more acceptance and there we go. Just because a girl posts her pictures on social media and as a celebrity, doesn’t mean she is welcoming judgemental remarks. You like her, appreciate her. You don’t like her, move ahead. Its not important to stop and criticize without knowing what she might be going through. We need to learn that its not Okay to describe repeatedly and publically your dislike about someone’s face, figure, occupation. Someone is not putting his or her life out to be judged so badly. Only if we understand this basic rule of “Live and let live”, we can save alot more Anam Tanoli’s out there.
“Suicide isnt cowardly. I’l tell you what is cowardly; treating people so bad that they want to end their lives” – Ashley Purdy
Unfortunately our society is also becoming a victim to mental depression. Suicide is a highly taboo and stigmatized topic. Depression has become so common and frustrating part of our society that it is taking lives on daily basis. Depression is the root cause of the events that lead an individual towards suicidal tendencies and ideas. September, is considered as a suicide prevention month in the world. In developed countries this month is observed as a time period to spread awareness about suicide and matters that may influence an individual to take away his life. Individuals affected by suicide are reached out, awareness campaigns are carried and individuals are connected to treatment services.
HOW TO WATCH OUT FOR SUCH PEOPLE, AND HOW TO SAVE THEM?
Look around. Yes look around. You might need to look deeply into the lives of your close ones. Someone might be going through trials and struggling in their life. Daily life issues are never really a reason for getting into depression. There can be other reasons, like constant failure, breakup in relationships, loss of a beloved person, family problems etc. Observe and then ask. Communicate with them. Try to get in to the matter. Tell them to focus on the things they have. It wont be easy but gradually it might help.
We are all urging to get a new Pakistan. What we must understand is that our behavior is going to be the determinant whether we make a new socially viable environment for a mentally and emotionally stable Pakistan, or not. Its high time that we realize how our behaviors can affect the lives of others and how can they easily make or break someone.